Being Polite; not easy at all.
Why do I remember so much trivial details???!??! My brothers both forgot everything I remembered…
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I just read a blog entry by some foreigners who live in HK (http://www.batgung.com/index.php). It was “Rudeness in Hong Kong, Part III” or something like that. The post was about the experience they had in the MTR regarding people giving up their seats. Somewhat provoked by the entry and some comments posted by others, I decided to air my views in my own blog, so I won’t appear “showing off” my English, like other HongKongers do in the MTR (or so they say).Just to make things clear, these are just my thoughts on the subject of politeness and not a direct comment on their post.
In every country and every culture, there are bound to be people who are loud and rude, vain, uneducated or just generally not people you’d like to mix with. It’s just human nature (or we’re just “trained”) to spot the faults and neglect the good. Therefore, it’s never fair to say that Chinese people are rude, or white people are proud, or all black people are from Africa (sometimes I don’t understand why they can see this comment offensive @@). In fact, sometimes it’s difficult to know what to do to in order to be considerate and polite at the same time.
One example is when I was F.3 and Vincent F.2 (and Steven wasn’t in high school yet) and was taking the MTR to school one morning, there was this Chinese guy with a colourful Hawaii shirt and with almost completely white hair. Being a perceptive teenager as I was (@@…), I noted that his standing posture was properly straight and he didn’t show any signs of presenting himself as an elderly. Therefore I didn’t offer my seat to him. However before I could stop my brother, Vincent, ever the gentlemen, did. The guy was shocked then laughed and declined the offer, saying that it was the first time ever in his life was he offered a seat. Vincent was, needless to say, was embarrassed. It made me think, that offering a seat can easily insult a person, hinting that person to be weak/old/whatever.
Therefore only when I offered my seat to primary school children whose backpacks look and weight half of their body, do I not think of the meaning behind the gesture.
Another funny thing that happened to Vincent, he told me one day, was once he and Steven took the MTR and were half asleep on their seat, he was poked on the shoulder by a foreign lady. Confused, he looked up and the lady literally pointed at her tummy. So, with disbelief, he stood up and gave her his seat.
As we are all familiar with the words “please offer your seat to those in need”, we always assumed that “those in need” refers to either elderly, pregnant women, or people with disabilities. However, just like my offering seats to school children with a heavy burden (and probably too young to appreciate the gesture), there is a group who I sense there’s a need, but may take it the wrong way if I offered them a seat.
People (mostly foreign people) who are too tall and have to bend their head while they’re on the tram (usually they don’t have such a problem in MTR). I know how uncomfortable it is to bend your head for any amount of time in a crowded compartment.
There was this one night last year (Steven’s birthday, to be exact) that I was taking the tram back home with my mom and Steven, and there was this young foreign couple, both very tall. There was only one seat left and the guy gave it to the girl. However, the guy was so tall that he had to bend his back while standing. Seeing this, and taking the advantage of them not understanding a bit of Cantonese, Steven and I discussed which one of us should give up our seat because the guy looked awfully uncomfortable. Since Steven had spent the whole day labouring in our new home (right now I still haven’t moved), I did (I can’t ask my mom to stand up now, can I). I went to the lower deck, acting as if I was going to get off the tram, so it won’t be so obvious that a girl was giving up her seat to such a big guy. My mom later on asked “was it necessary” but both Steven and I thought that this guy was one of “those in need”.
So being polite isn’t all that simple.
